Changes - Break-Ups to Make-Ups

“Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall com back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Disclaimer with Explanation:
The experience below only applies to men, since the psyche of the male and female race is completely different. A simple experiment to prove this is examining how a group of men and a group of women interact. At the end of the day, men are driven by instincts and needs...and women are driven by competition (may be the theory of evolution)…at least that’s my stand for now.

Every interaction a person has on a daily basis changes him/her a little bit. No matter how minute the interaction, change is inevitable. For instance, greeting a stranger with a smile or a head nod changes your train of thought for that moment and depending on if the gesture is acknowledged and returned changes your state of mind instantly. A relationship is the same type of interaction...just stretched across a long period with extremely complicated interactions, and the changes are ofcourse very significant.

Attraction to your partner’s personality is imperative to maintain relationships. Looks do matter, but that alone can’t keep things going in the long term. My friends and I often discuss how sometimes you loose interest in your significant other over time. My explanation is “Adjustments”. Adjustments that lead to major changes in personality over time also cause loss of attraction. When your partner looses her own personality to adjust to all your needs and wants...the relationship becomes boring. The stripping away of inhibitions actually leads to a jading attraction towards the partner’s personality. The shrinking domain of “unknowns” and the corroding ontology of “mysteriousness” lead to expected behaviors and repeating themes. Many things that teased your curiosity are now known fact.

The only way to keep things moving is constant change, understanding, and accommodation. Instead of adjusting your own personality to suit your partners, accommodating and understanding will get you further. Constant change is the harder part, spontaneity is necessary because nothing is more unattractive than routines. Just think of how going to work every day feels to us(only applies to you if you don’t have a spontaneous job :)).

From the freedom and anticipation in single life…to the honey moon period of a relationship…to the tribulations of staying together…to the deeper meanings and future prospects…to the moments that stay with you forever…to the disintegration of the knots that keep us together…to the angst of separation…to the transitions and acceptance of a lost love…to the rebirth of a new you…to the freedom and anticipation in single life. We all come full circle, learn from it, grow from it and obviously change from it.

Of course not all relationships work this way, in some the knots come apart much earlier and the changes are minor. Where you go at the end of a relationship is completely your choice in almost all instances…whether you maintain friendship or sever all ties depends on whether you have changed for the better or for the worse.