Changes - Break-Ups to Make-Ups

“Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall com back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Disclaimer with Explanation:
The experience below only applies to men, since the psyche of the male and female race is completely different. A simple experiment to prove this is examining how a group of men and a group of women interact. At the end of the day, men are driven by instincts and needs...and women are driven by competition (may be the theory of evolution)…at least that’s my stand for now.

Every interaction a person has on a daily basis changes him/her a little bit. No matter how minute the interaction, change is inevitable. For instance, greeting a stranger with a smile or a head nod changes your train of thought for that moment and depending on if the gesture is acknowledged and returned changes your state of mind instantly. A relationship is the same type of interaction...just stretched across a long period with extremely complicated interactions, and the changes are ofcourse very significant.

Attraction to your partner’s personality is imperative to maintain relationships. Looks do matter, but that alone can’t keep things going in the long term. My friends and I often discuss how sometimes you loose interest in your significant other over time. My explanation is “Adjustments”. Adjustments that lead to major changes in personality over time also cause loss of attraction. When your partner looses her own personality to adjust to all your needs and wants...the relationship becomes boring. The stripping away of inhibitions actually leads to a jading attraction towards the partner’s personality. The shrinking domain of “unknowns” and the corroding ontology of “mysteriousness” lead to expected behaviors and repeating themes. Many things that teased your curiosity are now known fact.

The only way to keep things moving is constant change, understanding, and accommodation. Instead of adjusting your own personality to suit your partners, accommodating and understanding will get you further. Constant change is the harder part, spontaneity is necessary because nothing is more unattractive than routines. Just think of how going to work every day feels to us(only applies to you if you don’t have a spontaneous job :)).

From the freedom and anticipation in single life…to the honey moon period of a relationship…to the tribulations of staying together…to the deeper meanings and future prospects…to the moments that stay with you forever…to the disintegration of the knots that keep us together…to the angst of separation…to the transitions and acceptance of a lost love…to the rebirth of a new you…to the freedom and anticipation in single life. We all come full circle, learn from it, grow from it and obviously change from it.

Of course not all relationships work this way, in some the knots come apart much earlier and the changes are minor. Where you go at the end of a relationship is completely your choice in almost all instances…whether you maintain friendship or sever all ties depends on whether you have changed for the better or for the worse.

Vishal Vaid - Live

Went to His concert at Makor cafe last night..a tribute to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. Absolutely Phenomenal - Karsh Kale on Percussions, Vishal Vaid on keys and vocals.

Ramayan 3392 AD

I read an article in the WSJ last week which peaked my curiosity on this topic. So, I forwarded a wikipedia link to a few of my friends to gauge their responses. The common consensus were split between - Finally a good way to introduce Indian mythology vs. this is destroying Indian culture. My personal view on this matter is definitely positive. I believe these comics might finally do the characters of the great epics some justice as supposed to the old school movies/shows.

I also got responses that pointed out some super heroes that have had a profound impact on us - Indian Superman & Indian Spiderman. The superman outfit from the 80's was blatantly plagiarized from the Christopher Reeves version where as the new Spiderman is the same except its a kurta-pajama instead of a jump suit. Peter Parker is Pavitra Prabhakar, Mary Jane is Meera Jain, Uncle Ben is Uncle Bhim, Aunt May is Aunty Maya...Grimey!!! I think I might just go ahead and make my version of Harry Potter - Hari Puttar.

Well anyway before I digress...Virgin Comics is a new endeavor started by Richard Branson. He has coordinated with big names like Deepak Chopra and Shekhar Kapur to release this new line of characters all based on hindu mythology. After reading the preview for the Ramayan, i was impressed by the authors effort to keep the ground work of the orginal Ramayana intact while still presenting a creative/innovative vision of the future. I like the graphics as well. One of my friends was happy that the characters looked a lot better than Pokemon...I guess Valmiki can rest in peace for now :). Don't know how taboo it is to read comic books at this age but I definitely am looking forward to it...A cartoon show might not hurt either.

New Years Resolution - Sort of

This morning I was late to work, a great way to kick off the first week of the New Year. On the bright side, it was one of those new NJ Transit double-deckers. I felt a little claustrophobic on the bottom bunk but couldn’t stop thinking how neat the upgrade was.

I always feel like I'm the only person who can't sleep on these trains. I am the weirdo staring at you as you wake up from that comfortable rock-a-by-baby-on-the-train-ride sleep. On my sleepless train ride today I continued to ponder about numerous events around the world and tried to understand human nature to the best of my capabilities. I know I should’ve played solitaire on the laptop instead. Ignorance and apathy are bliss…at least they can facilitate the catnap. So here are some of the million parallel and perpendicular thoughts that ran through my brain this morning.

I have hypothesized that the vision/dream of a peaceful world is ignorant. We as humans are all created equal = Neutral. It's somewhere in our upbringing, our surroundings, our experiences, our influences etc. that the scales start tipping either towards harmony or discord. My premise draws from a few sets of common characteristics in human nature that repeat themselves throughout history.

The first set of antonymous characteristics is apathy for another's grief and compunction for another's good fortune. We are the quickest to switch from the emotion of "Oh that sucks for him!" to "Why me?" Each one of us has established our own rules to satisfy our conscience...some of us are over scrupulous in this area...and some of us…well that explains most of the problems in the world :). “Thou shall not covet”, it’s the most ignored of all the commandments or at least I fell that way. I’ll be the first to admit I’m guilty of both of these. I condemn my misfortunes and also seem to be preoccupied setting goals and material expectations based on the successes and possessions of another.
The lesson – We are always dissatisfied and yearn for more, i.e. contentment seems to always be in reach but we never quite get there.

The second is oppression based on perceived superiority and revolt after unendurable torment/injustice. The laws of karma repeat themselves throughout history like clockwork with a period of violent oppression followed by an equally vicious revolt. For as long as the human story has been recited this pattern is present. In the Upanishads, the demons slay humans…god incarnates as a human and slays demons to “establish equilibrium”. In the Old Testament, The pharaoh and his army persecute the Israelites and they are drowned by Moses with a lot of help from YHWH. Every news paper today shows the same themes across the world. All the civil wars in Africa, Middle East, Asia and South America present the same set of underlying characteristics.
The lesson– At least one side is suffering…It’s just the side that’s telling the story that shows up as the protagonist to our future generations.

Overstanding (as suppose to understanding…I know it’s not a real word) and Ignorance are the last set of characteristics. Knowledge is diluted and perverted by what we consider as sufficient information to satisfy our curiosity. Everyone is measuring what is right and wrong on different metric systems or at least what "is" and "is not". Belief is a funny thing, sometimes we become so strongly attached to our ideas that we fail to budge to flexibility of ideas around us. Religion and Morals are where the two characteristics become extremely evident. While there are those who believe in a religion so strongly that they believe that there aren’t any other possibilities, there are also others who just don’t give a Fuck. A little moderation on both sides could only help :) .
The lesson – We live in a finite world with infinite possibilities…learn as much as you can and be flexible to learn more.

The train ride lesson of the day – I need to revisit my New Year’s resolutions!